the mystery of history

updates on my neck: according to my chiropractor, my neck bone is chronically disfigured. chronic is such a dramatic word. HAHA! but yes. i have to be careful from now on...

this summer, i am working at Cliveden in Historical Germantown. Cliveden is a Georgian mansion that was owned by the Chew family for seven generations (basically, ever since the USA was born). the Battle of Germantown, the only Revolutionary battle that took place in Philadelphia, took place right in the house! there are still battle scars (bullet and canon ball holes) left on the house. the Chew family were a prominent, wealthy family in Philadelphia's elite society. Benjamin Chew, who built the house, was the Penn family's lawyer. the Chew family were filthy rich, were super proud of their place in society and history, and were basically hoarders for seven generations. in the 1970s, they gave their home and grounds to the National Trust of Historical Preservation, along with seven generations worth of family documents--over 200,000 receipts/documents/letters/legal papers/diaries/photographs/junk, which are now owned by the Philadelphia Historical Society. they also left behind a shit load of furniture, china, paintings, rare books, clothes, accessories etc for display...but most of them are unfortunately hidden in steel storage lockers.

Cliveden. it's a lot bigger than it looks. there are extensions

built in the back of the house.

so for the past few weeks i've been interning, it has been exciting and dull (yes it is possible to feel both) reading through their stuff, "getting to know the family," and discovering all sorts of stories about the Chews without actually meeting them. recently Cliveden received a new grant, so we're going through a lot of structural changes. my job as an intern is to do some historical research in order to help rewrite the public tour, redesign their current exhibition space, and to plan/install a new interactive exhibit. in other words, i'm trying to make the place more interesting because right now, it is like living in a graveyard.

in short, i work with old people and talk about dead people everyday.

the whole point of this historical business is to solve the mystery behind Cliveden. we're trying to fill in gaps of our knowledge on the family members who lived in Cliveden, the slaves they owned, the servants who worked at Cliveden, and the way Germantown evolved over time. it's a lot more boring than it sounds.

also, i commute 3 hrs total everyday. as a result, i have been reading a lot lately. in case you're looking for some summer reading, here are my brief thoughts:

-An Artist of the Floating World, by Kazuo Ishiguro--takes place in a post WWII Japan. an artist talks about his past, revisits past conversations, and tries to come to terms with his place as an artist during an era when the Japanese are reforming their identity in the modern world. it's a slow book, so rich with layers. i'm not an expert on Japanese culture, but there is the stereotype that they have very subtle conversations, not saying exactly what they mean, conversing in hints and insinuations, rather than clear cut statements. the narrator thinks back on all these complex layers of conversations and tries to figure out what the hell happened.

-The Stranger, by Albert Camus--i did not like it. people like Meursault (the main character) disgust me.

-Notes from the Underground, by Dostoyevsky--still reading it. i'll let you know. but so far, the style is very much like The Stranger, so i'm not really feelin' it.

got any summer reading suggestions for me? i'm thinking about starting The Hunger Games.

but aside from reading, commuting, and working, this summer is going great. lovely weekend excursions to the city and concerts, walks on the nature trail, and cooking adventures can spice up life after staring at an old 1998 computer monitor all day...

movement

did you know we're almost smack dab in the middle of the year already? day nineteen of the sixth month.

what have you accomplished so far? how are your resolutions going? mine are going great, thank you very much. i probably shouldn't speak in plural form though because i only made one resolution for this year: to better understand how God allows us to have life, and to have it in full (check out John 10:10)

the anthem of my life this year has revolved around movement and an almost nomadic lifestyle. by now i'm fond of it and i suspect it'll continue like this for a few more years before i finally settle, whatever that means.

i went out to watch Joy Ike perform at Milkboy last night, and she sang this song that expressed exactly where i am right now.

aside from moving around my belongings/environment, a shocking experience happened to me this past friday that made me so much more thankful for how our bodies can move. i woke up friday morning, 6:30am, and twisted my head in an awful position and the next second i found myself unable to move. the entire upper right side of my body was temporarily...frozen. moving my right arm made my neck and shoulder muscles scream in pain. and i couldn't budge my head. naturally, i freaked out and my tears were more from shock and shear fear, rather than the pain itself. after a few hours of just lying in bed, frustrated and hurting, i somehow rolled myself off my bed and inched myself to my feet. i walked like Frankenstein--stiffly, with my head tilted so as not to hurt my neck, and my arms trying not to move. HAHAHAHA! i thought it was comical. but in all seriousness, i had never been in so much pain. good thing my apartment mates are the best! waking up to a friend crying that she's paralyzed is not exactly an ideal morning so i'm glad they were able to help me out.

i went to a chiropractor who took some x-rays and gave me some cool electromagnetic therapy (i might be making the the electromagnetic part up, but it was cool). apparently my neck bone is not curved the way it should. it's nearly vertical, almost tilting in the opposite direction. on the drive over to the chiropractor, i joked with my friend, Anna--"Annnaaaaa...what if I have to wear a neck brace??" the doctor handed me my very own neck brace at the end of my checkup. check it out, dudes. it works great with every outfit i own.

so for now, i'm coping with being still. it's harder than i thought it would be.

up next: rantings on my boring internship, and great summer!

home

it's so great being back in Philadelphia. i spent the weekend sleeping over my friends' house, seeing old faces, and catching up with girls that i love best. it's funny though because i don't feel at home here when it's during the school year. i guess the feeling of being home depends on the level of comfort i feel in being with other people. obviously, i don't feel very much comfort in being at school. (this is why i can't wait to graduate and be a real person, rather being a student aka sub-human. not that i don't love my school. i just don't like the fact that my occupation is limited to being just a student. and the fact that many--not all--people at my school have such half-hearted conversations.)

funny how i'm talking about Philadelphia being home though. because i also get home sick--i'd much rather be at home with my family than anything, really. even though i tend to lose my mind with how slow things are at Canada, and how i am very much a useless being when i go to Vancouver, i love being home with my family. what i love most about being home is that i can be as weird as i want, react exactly as i feel in the moment without hesitation, or think twice about how foolish i sound. i can punch my siblings while joking around with them, make fun of them and laugh, stare off into space, play my ukulele, and wear ridiculous clothing just because its comfortable. my body feels free and less tense. my mind is more at ease. and my heart is happy.

so i was really unhappy to be leaving Vancouver last week to come to Philadelphia for my internship. and during my first week here, i kept questioning whether i made the right decision to take this internship. it was a hot, demanding, exhausting, and a bit annoying this week having to move in, and readjust to working in a professional setting. i like everyone but my boss. and i'm still not sure if i like the actual work. but this weekend made a huge difference. i know it's going to be a great summer.

so i'll keep you posted, friends. no more entries about beautiful european adventures (i just reread some of my entries from my time in London...my face looked like this o.O i sounded like a 5 year old writing about adventures with rainbows and unicorns. wtf...) the entries for this summer will be about me desperately trying to make the most of my last summer before i get a real job and become a functioning person in society.

 midnight conversations have their own aimless charm

conclusions and introductions

some concluding thoughts:
studying abroad was rad. it was a party everyday. never in my life have i ever spent my money and my time so luxuriously and freely. throughout my entire 5 months abroad, i saw musicals and ballets, visited museums and markets, travelled to 9 different cities and 4 small towns, watched 98357928579246 movies in my room, slept an ungodly number of hours, ate all sorts of food from around the world, walked around parks and gardens for hours, read for pleasure, and filled an entire journal.

it was good.

i am satisfied (there are still a few things i wish i did. but my time in europe got cut off short because i stupidly jumped on the "internship train" because all my obnoxiously overambitious friends were doing something productive this summer...) and i hope i never have to travel around european cities ever again, unless it's strictly for work/business. i don't say this to sound pretentious. i say this because i really don't want to do it again. don't get me wrong--i absolutely loved travelling around europe--all of the cities are beautiful and they all put me in awe. but they also gave me a frightening realization of how ridiculously opulent lifestyles in the West are. the shopping, the tourist commercialism, the freakishly fancified european version of McDonalds that somehow seems to stalk you wherever you are travelling, the designer brand stores that taunt you as you walk by, and the way some college girls in London dress like prostitutes--all of this i will not miss. now that i've seen a few old castles and palaces, my chapter in europe is complete. something i'll definitely miss, however, are all the free art museums. seeing all that art has inspired me to get back in touch with making music and writing. it's amazing how much visual inspiration can stir your desire to create in other mediums.

back to other things i will not miss--as a young asian girl travelling around europe, i became aware of a few things i no longer wish to tolerate: if i ever hear another non-asian man greet me with a "gonnichiwa" or "neehow" ever again, i will not hesitate to kick him where it hurts most. if someone ever asks me whether i'm from the north or the south, after i tell them i'm Korean, i will directly ask them: "are you a moron?" or i might just reply: "neither." and if i ever have to pay 8 pounds (equivalent to almost $14) for a shitty dish that is supposed to be some form of Korean food, i will throw that bowl against the wall and leave. no more tolerance.

academically, studying abroad was a joke. i now fully appreciate how hard american students work. (i wasn't particularly impressed by the British students i came across.) but because i did the bare minimum--going to class and submitting whatever i could get done--my work ethic is now nonexistent. going back to Philadelphia this friday to work full time is going to destroy me for the first couple weeks.

i am starting to realize that this blog has a wider audience than i initially thought it did. for those readers who are younger than i am, here's my advice: you will start to feel like you can't breathe on your campus by your third year in college. go abroad. it is a beautiful breath of fresh air. if school is stressing you out, it means you need a vacation. studying abroad is your chance. just do it and thank me later.

Philadelphia--i hear you are a hot, humid, melting mess right now. i've been living in cold, windy environments for nearly eight months. you better straighten up your act and have some mercy on me when i arrive. i don't like sweating.