I'm flying out to Korea tomorrow at 2pm. At one point, while packing, the only thought in my head was "Really? Already? It's actually happening?" But now, I'm feeling blank and neutral, which is very unusual since I usually have strong emotions about everything and anything I do. The timing for this departure is also unusual. For one thing, I'm leaving on my sister's birthday.
[Happy Birthday to my fierce sister, Debbie! 18 and ready for college at University of Washington! I feel terrible that I'm leaving on your birthday, and I won't see you at your graduation, or prom, or give you tips about college before you leave. I'm never home, so you're probably used to it, but I am very sad about this.]
The other reason is a little ironic. I was homesick almost all year during school; it was to the point where I'd be depressed for days when homesickness hit me. But the past two weeks since I got home, I never really felt like I came back home. Spending time with my family and seeing everyone here in Canada was great and all, but I don't have my own space at home (literally...I have a drawer. outside. in the hallway. that is the extent of my "space" at home). I've been feeling restless and after all this time longing to go home, I'm longing to head out again. Now, I find it almost romantic, this new stage in my life where I don't have a specific place that I really feel rooted to. So I'm off! This is going to be a very short and rare stage where I'm not too attached to one place. I might as well embrace it and make it as exciting as possible.
For those of you who don't know, I'll be in Korea until Aug. 16th, interning with an organization called People for Successful Corean REUnification (PSCORE). I'm not certain about all the responsibilities I'll have when I get there, but I definitely know I'll be teaching English to North Korean refugees studying in Korea, and writing grants proposals.
A few days ago, I started reading "Eat Pray Love." So far its lame, and I would only recommend it to those who are bored out of their minds. I'm still at the beginning where the author is in Italy, learning how to indulge herself in the art of eating. Its inspiring me to be nice to my body this summer. After all those painful days at Haverford, hovering over books and damaging my neck and back, typing madly in front of the computer and damaging my posture, eating terrible food or not eating at all and damaging my health, its time I let my body feel alive and not like a dorky nerdy zombie. Aside from interning and having solemn thoughts about the political state Korea is in, I think it would be nice to finally let myself indulge in food, nature, music, and God.
I'm going to eat all sorts of food--I plan on going hiking pretty frequently. And just enjoying the city landscape in general--I decided a few weeks ago that I want to learn how to play the harmonica this summer. Plus I'm taking my ukulele with me. Maybe I'll find some buddies to play with--I have a lot of spiritual matters I need to solidify and figure out this summer.
Hopefully I can write at least once a week! I don't want to promise because I'm terrible with blogging, but I'll try! (It's only fair if you all start blogs too.)
To wrap up, I'm just going to list a bunch of things that are on my mind, mostly fears and things I'm nervous about:
-What if I end up thinking "every Korean looks the same to me" when I get there? Epic Ethnic Fail.
-All the girls there are going to be skinnier than I am. I need to get over this. I'm not even there yet and I'm already jealous.
-How am I supposed to dress? Is it ok to wear shorts on the streets?
-please please please...I hope I don't get Traveler's Diarrhea...
-I can hardly talk about politics in English. How on earth am I supposed to do it in Korean?
-I'm gonna end up being a loner.
-I better not end up looking like a FOB when I get back! That would be a nightmare. No offense to my fob friends. Its just not me, I do hope you understand.
-people better not make fun of my terrible Korean skills..
-I hope my relatives like me. I hope I end up loving them.
-I want to eat a lot. But I don't want to gain weight. what to doooo?
-Things are tense in Korea right now. I hope the North Korean refugees and I will get along...
-If you and I are close friends, then you know that I never really fit in with Koreans and I feel awfully uncomfortable when there are a lot of Koreans around me. It sounds stupid, I know. But its a problem I've been working on and I'm going overcome it this summer. watch.
so that was a waste of words. what nonsense and vomit! I promise my next entry will be carefully thought out and thoroughly edited. And there'll be pictures! My grandpa is planning on taking me to all sorts of places before I start my internship next week. Palaces, museums, mountains, temples, monuments, cities, schools etc!
Hope all your summers are off to a great start! If you're in Korea, give me a holler and I'll give you my temporary cell number while I'm in Korea!
Love,
Rachel
