sleepless nights...

its 4am right now.

we are, by nature, complainers. it's our natural instinct to complain, whether it be out loud or in our minds, when we're put in an uncomfortable situation. most of you are probably are aware of this, and most of you have probably tried to (and continue to) work on not complaining, as i have (and still try to). the thing about trying to restrain yourself from complaining is that you're able to hold your tongue, but it's soooo much harder to hold your thoughts from complaining. and if you're actively trying to refrain from complaining, you find yourself going back and forth, battling and counteracting your complaints with attempts to think of reasons why you shouldn't complain so much, only to go back complaining...

by the time i arrived in London, i was unsmiling--it was an awful trip. my connection from Calgary was a disaster--all the passengers boarded the plane and the plane was getting ready for take off on the runway, when all of a sudden, there was a pop noise. the captain announced that the left engine was not working. an hour later, we were told that another plane from Vancouver was on its way to take us to London. we would have to wait 6 hours--that is, until 1:30am.

aside from the fact that the airport's stupid wi-fi only allowed access to facebook (which really is enough for any college student, right?), the wait for the second plane wasn't too bad. it was the flight itself that made me realize how much i complain, and how much i try not to complain, and then end up complaining again, miserable from my fruitless efforts.

below are some conversations/complain battles i had with myself during the 8 hour flight to London:

oh my gosh...that baby has been crying for an hour...please stick a pacifier in her mouth or something...anything to shut her up...(minutes later) i totally feel her pain though. i wanna scream right now too...gosh i hate flying. in fact, if i were a baby, i'd probably be crying right now too...it's ok, baby, you go right on crying. i know it's awful...(minutes later) how can a baby produce such a sinfully ugly noise?

need water...water...when are they gonna serve drinks/snacks? wow...it sucks sitting toward the back of the plane...can't they hurry up? (minutes later) oh goody! cookies and water! i love water...cookies...nom nom nom...(minutes later) oh my gosh my throat is parched. i can't breath...

why am i leaning on the wall? it's freezing. lemme just move over a little bit...HEY! this man is totally invading my space. why do men have to sit with their legs wide apart? mister you need to remove your arms from my arm space. i don't like touching strangers. the boundary is behind the armrest...i don't like touching strangers...(minutes later) well...he is a pretty big man, horizontally...if i feel cramped, he REALLY must feel cramped. oh look he's crossing his arms and is trying his best to keep his arms from flopping over to my side. he must feel very uncomfortable. they should make airplane seats wider for people his size. poor guy...(minutes later)... why couldn't a skinny 7 year old girl sit next to me?

plane rides are no fun. since this entry to is getting too long, i'll save my next horror story for later this week. but just so you know, even though getting here and settling in the first night was pretty rough, i'm super excited to be here! i went to an awesome church on sunday that made me feel so glad and so blessed to be here. i'm much more at peace now. can't wait for happier adventures :)

i have a meeting with my advisor in about 4 hours...i'm gonna go to bed.